Thursday, February 25, 2010
Well, I bit the bullet and decided to sort out two very large drawers full of my children's memorabilia. I had been tossing into those drawers for years all of their school artwork and papers, birthday cards, and miscellaneous school pictures and souvenirs. I decided to buy some storage boxes and so I set out to sort and separate each child's things. There was nothing efficient about the process. I became bogged down on memory lane. The kids went to a little country school that required them to journal from the time they were able to put pencil to paper. They didn't always like it but, those journals are golden. They are the time capsules that capture the moments of our lives. Blair describes, with typical efficiency, his weekends around the farm. "I helped my dad. I watched 'Home Improvement' and then I went to bed." Amanda, being the wordier child, goes into great detail about spending the night with her best friend, Michelle. There are the little projects about themselves "All About Me" that describe favorite foods and friends. My favorite finds were the little notes that Amanda used to leave around the house ... 'Dear Mom, Can you make me a side pony in the morning. I am not showing off, I just want something different." Leave it to my girl to overthink a ponytail. And, don't even get me started about the letters to Santa that I found. So sweet, so hopeful, so trusting. Yesterday was a day of smiles and a few little sniffles and tears over the fact that the time was so fleeting. I can hardly believe that those days are gone so quickly and that they are now setting up households of their own. I want them to have these things so that they know how special those times were for me and so that they can one day show their own children that they too were little once. But mostly, I want them to have the record of a life lived happily.
Okay, we here in western Oregon have had the tease ... a few consistently gorgeous, springlike days smack in the middle of winter. It was great, not only for our being able to get outdoors and do some early gardening but for just soaking up some Vitamin D and easing our winter doldrums. This is not an unusual phenomenon in this part of the country but, at the same time that we are enjoying the break in the weather, we are dreading the resumption of winter. The lawn was mown and the daffodils are blooming but will inevitably be rain and wind whipped as a matter of course. Its one of these wierd little ironies that we will get a beautiful spell in February and yet it will storm relentlessly for school spring breaks in March. We are lucky if we get a bit of sun on Easter weekend for the egg hunts. So, while I am the first to love and take advantage of sunny weather breaks, I am also totally depressed when they are over. Spring fever has hit and although I logically know that we won't have consistently sunny weather for quite some time, I still keep hoping for it. We live in a part of the country that is as gorgeous as it is because of our prolific rainfall. I know this and I appreciate rain as a native Oregonian should but still, I really, really liked that sunbreak. Come on spring!
Friday, February 5, 2010
I am in a BAD mood today. It started with last night's insomnia, progressed through an early morning, fasting blood draw and really took flight after dealing with a surly yet inept barista. And no, I don't want to be cheered up, reminded that things could be worse or told that I have a lot to be grateful for. I get it and I'm still in a very bad mood. In fact, I'm pissed off and I'm tired. I'm tired of being sleep deprived half the time. I'm tired of dealing with nasty, rude people ... especially the type who have a chip on their shoulder and who attempt to alleviate their own emotional misery through mind numbingly heinous acts toward others. I am tired of being shocked and appalled by the behavior of some of the citizens of this country and how we treat one another. So, I'm going to fully embrace this bad mood, this attitude of disgust with humanity and I'm going to wallow in it ... until 5 p.m. today. I hope people will steer clear during my self-imposed gloom fest. Then, I am going to straighten up my attitude, put on my big girl panties and deal with it. I'm going to go find a glass of wine and maybe some really good chocolate and I am going to proceed to rediscover all of the things that are good in this world. In the meantime, I'm in a really, really BAD mood.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
I really, really don't like fooling with technology. Oh, don't get me wrong ... I like the efficiency of communicating via email and I enjoy the voyeuristic qualities of Facebook. But, I find it infinitely frustrating to try and figure out the intracacies of the computer. It is fascinating that you can click here and click there and share pictures, links to other internet sites and transport thoughts and ideas through the ether. I am not good at it. The dragging and clicking seldom works out well for me and when I do stumble into making something work, I won't remember how I did it the next time I want to accomplish the same. I can spend far too much time trying for it to be satisfying or worth it. I got spoiled when my unintimidated, computer savvy kids lived at home. I would beg for their help and they would fix the problem; however, I now realize that they didn't teach me, they just did it. And, it was easier that way. Then, they up and left home ... the ingrates. But, in all seriousness, I have got to figure this stuff out because in the not-too-distant future, I'm probably going to want to keep track of kids who have moved farther away and grandbabies. But, chalking one up for my side, I figured out how to post my picture on my blog. One small step for the computer illiterate but one huge step for me. Its just a little bit rewarding, if I do say so myself. And, the one thing I do know for sure is that unless I figure it out for myself, I will simply never get it. In the words of One Republic in one of their songs ..."We're marching on ...