SURPRISE

     "We can never be prepared for everything.  No one person can anticipate all of life.  In fact, over preparation is yet another way to wall ourselves in from life.  Rather, we can only prepare for how we might respond to the gift of surprise that often moves in on us faster than our reflex to resist.  

     "Life is surprising, thank God, and God, the chance to know Oneness, lives in surprise.  For God is seldom in our plans, but always in the unexpected."  -  Mark Nepo

      YES!

      I ran across these paragraphs in my morning reading.  These words perfectly sum up the way my life has unfolded of late.  My plan is that there is no real plan because everything I used to think my life would look like at this point has been turned on its head.  The details aren't really the important part.  The story really is in the process of letting go and being open to the elements of surprise in life.  

     I find myself packing up, putting my things into storage and heading to Texas for six months.  And, even as I say this I have to chuckle about my experiences in Texas.  My daughter moved there.  I visited her shortly thereafter ... a normal, fun and reasonably short trip.  Then, she and her husband adopted a baby.  Things changed ... boy, did things change.  My trip down when he came home from the hospital was much longer because the NICU kept delaying his release.  I ended up spending a couple of months with them.  More recently, I went back for a two week visit.  That trip turned into a month when my daughter's back went out and she needed help.  Now, she needs back surgery and there is recuperation and childcare to think about.  Here I go again.  I've decided to go for six months, get my own little place and see what life there is like.   It has been a whirlwind of rearranging my life but, I still feel it is what I truly want to do.  I'm tired but hopeful.

     So, my short term plan is set in motion but, if I've learned anything at all it is that there could be a surprise or two along the way.  I have started letting go of any set agenda.  It is very freeing in one way.  I find myself opening more to random opportunities and new experiences.  I have been shaken loose from a very stable foundation and, while my mood swings from optimism to abject terror, I feel like this is the journey I'm supposed to be on.  And it is amazing how a change of perspective from fear and tentativeness to looking for and appreciating the surprises life offers up can reframe things.

I'm really excited for the next chapter, the next surprise.