Down the Rabbit Hole

I'm not ashamed to admit that occasionally throughout my life I've dealt with a little depression.  Its not to a level that medication is required but, it definitely crops up when life gets difficult.  And, when is life always perfect?  So, when that happens, I fall down the rabbit hole.  I lose my spark, I can't get motivated and I just don't seem to be able to remember what I'm about.  When I'm in the hole, it feels like all efforts to crawl out are met with people stomping on my knuckles or kicking me in the teeth .. metaphorically speaking.  In other words, my focus goes to a dark and negative place.  And the very worst thing about this situation is the reluctance to ask for help or to just simply admit it.  But, here's the thing.  There are lots of people (best friends especially) who are ready to help.

It finally dawned on me the other day that I was in the pit ... again.  This has not been the case for quite awhile so, I failed to notice I was going there.  I finally threw the thought out there to some good and wise friends and just doing that, started my climb out of it.  I realized that maybe some simple herbal remedies might kick start my efforts.  I was reminded by a good friend that if I started each day with an intention, it would help me get out of bed.  And, just the simple act of talking it out helped immensely.

So, today I set some intentions.  I figured if I managed only a fraction, that would be a good thing.  I have been checking them off.  The most important of intentions is self care.  Drink the water, eat the healthy food, go for a walk ... you know the drill.  Then there are the intentions based on accomplishment ... at least make your bed.  Do one thing toward a goal that seems too huge and overwhelming.  And finally, intentionally find a little joy.  Its spring ... there are blooms galore (at least in my neck of the woods).  Do something creative ... you don't have to be Rembrandt.  Even if you work full-time, try to fit in some 'me time' because, as I've found out, no one else is going to take care of me if I don't.

There is one more thing I very much want to address.  I am no spring chicken.  My peers and I are aging baby boomers.  We are part of a generation where the sky was the limit.  Now, we are empty nesters and retired or nearly so.  And yet, we are so much healthier and youthful than previous generations of the same age.  It sounds great to retire or be done raising children and be able to go and do ... but, for many of us, we lose a sense of purpose and, worst of all, we don't feel needed.  It is hard and it may sound silly but, it is not for sissies to reinvent your life at this age.   So, if a little depression creeps in ... try to recognize it and get help in one form or another.  As another very dear friend put it "We are on a short runway."