A**HOLES

So, let me begin by saying, excuse the title.  I am using that term in this post very deliberately and here is why.  It seems we have turned into a nation rife with 'a**holes' and I am not kidding.  I want to add that we all have been guilty of 'a**hole' moments.  You know what I mean.  The time you didn't exactly handle your road rage.  The time that you made a snide remark when turning the other cheek would have been the bigger thing to do.  But seriously, there is an even bigger type of 'a**hole' that seems to be growing in this country.  The type of individual who is an embarrassment to humanity in general and America in particular.  These are the extreme ugly Americans, such as the dentist who decided that it was an honorable thing to shoot a majestic lion.

There is no shortage of ugly Americans and I am referring to them as 'a**holes' deliberately because it is the most blunt form of describing what they are.  These are people who have absolutely no regard for anyone but themselves.  They are narcissistic and it is always about them.  They do not care who they insult, make fun of (such as lovely cyber trolls) or who they hurt in their ever growing need to please only themselves.  These people will cut you off in traffic, elbow you out of the way in a crowd and, although I am using a 'naughty' word to describe them, they will throw out all kinds of swear words in public and in front of other peoples' (not to mention their own) children.

Where do these people come from and how do they become so crass and clueless?  Well, one may be wrong in assuming but, my guess is that they were raised by ... you guessed it .... 'a**holes.'  So, when someone shames these people on social media, I do not feel particularly sorry for them, if at all.  If you are going to go out and act shamelessly, do not be surprised if you are shamed for it, not that it will probably do any good.  In fact, lets bring back the stocks.  I'm just kidding but, we are creating a nation of 'a**holes' by letting these individuals get away with antisocial and uncivil behavior and it is about time we got a new program in this country.

We need to start teaching our children that they are not the center of the universe, that you do not get self esteem because someone tells you that you are wonderful but by doing good things.  We need to set a better example for the children ... that it is not alright to be inconsiderate and unkind.  I hear a lot of blather from a variety of people demanding respect.  I'll tell you what ... earn it by acting like a decent human being and by not being an embarrassment to your countrymen.  Actions will always speak louder than words.  Act like an 'a**hole' and you are an 'a**hole.'

We Build Our Own Prisons

Odd title, I know.

I was thinking about the situations that people find themselves in that make them unhappy.  It goes without saying that bad things happen to good people.  Those things are rarely anticipated and usually have the effect of blindsiding the individual.  But, what about the aftermath?  Well, quite simply, its a choice as to how we respond to the blindsides.  Always, always, always ... its a choice.  We can wallow in victim mode indefinitely or, we can get up and move forward.

I've always been a firm believer that our minds and/or thoughts are our most powerful tools.  Where your thinking goes, so goes your life.  All of that brings me back around to the title of my post.  If we stay in victim mode, we are in a prison of our own making.  We can stay miserable, we can wallow, we can blame but, we won't move forward.  Sometimes breaking down those prison walls means admitting that the status quo is no longer working.  It means that we have to have the courage to envision something better for ourselves and move toward it.  And, it is damned hard.  No one ever said it would be easy.  There will be pain.

The thing about taking control of our lives is that no matter how hard the journey is, its ours to plan ... our bus to drive.  It is terrifying and freeing and occasionally sad and often hopeful.  It is saying no to things that no longer serve us and hello to possibilities for real joy.  It is unearthing that self that was buried for so long under layers of someone else's vision.  Its a work in progress and it means being braver than you've ever felt on any given day.  And, its worth it to walk out into the sunlight of our own dreams.

A Blog Name and Random Changes

I haven't blogged for a year.  No excuses ... just didn't want to, had other things going on.  Life just has a way of happening and, before you know it, a year has flown past and, along with it, many changes have taken place.  And that brings me back around to the creation of my blog.

I was in a bad spot when I first began to blog and express myself through writing.  It was all I could do to get through my days so, I would write about the things that were hurting me.  I heard the song by One Republic entitled 'Marching On' and it really resonated with me ... especially the part about 'putting one foot in front of the other.'  There were days when that was all I could do.

In the aftermath of pain, people go about rebuilding their lives ... they frequently try to 'get their lives back.'  But, all along, the only constant is change.  It wasn't the same life, I wasn't the same person.  I ran across this quote by Heraclitus in some of my readings:

No man steps into the same river twice.  It is not the same river and he is not the same man.

This is a very simple yet profound metaphor.  We cannot go through life-changing events and stay the same ... nor were we meant to.  Maybe we are awakened to wanting more, maybe we decide what will truly make a more meaningful life and, most importantly, we grow.  We are changed. I was changed ... I was not the same woman, it was not the same life.  

The one constant thing about change though ... it is going to happen whether you are ready or not.  A profound event calls for a profound reaction.  You either let it run over you or ... as the song goes ... continue putting one foot in front of the other.  So, maybe this blog has come full circle.  From pain, to the mundane events of life, back to pain ... or maybe not pain so much as growth and change.  The take away for me is that you can never get too comfortable planning your perfect life because it all can change in a heartbeat.  This is not necessarily a pessimistic view for the simple fact that life can present you with pain and then turn around and give you unexpected joy.  Its not personal, its just life. 

Here's What is Popping

Just a little look at the plants and flowers that are popping up in my garden.

A couple cute pots ...

Here are some shade areas that are always so pretty in the spring ...

The borders are just filling in and will get a boost with annuals soon ...

The first poppy ...

This is where the birds hang out ...

Another pot ...

Hope you enjoyed my garden!

Winter 2013

This December in Oregon has been one for the record books.  Temperatures in the minuses have not been seen in this part of the state since the early 1970's.  Needless to say, although beautiful to look at, lots of problems ensued ... broken pipes, failed heating systems, etc.  We were quite fortunate not to have experienced either but, we sure know people who did.  My biggest inconvenience was being unable to get out and about for a week ... which put me behind for Christmas preparations but, that passed and I am caught up.

So, without further ado, let me show you some of the pictures taken around home.  Although they look pretty and innocent, consider that it was probably about 19 degrees (a warming trend from -9 degrees) when I finally ventured out to take pictures.

Enjoy!

Perfect Moment

Have you ever had a moment of perfect peace, or joy, or grace?  I bet you have ... the thing is, did you really notice and take it in.  I happen to think there are many of them in life but, in this fast paced society, we don't always appreciate them.  I had one such moment today.  Let me tell you about it.

I was driving into town to meet a friend for coffee.  The sun was shining and the day had become warmer than predicted.  I was driving along noticing that so many trees were either in bud or blooming.  The myriad shades of green that are Oregon in the spring were just vibrant and those were accented by pink and white blossoms as well as the splashes of yellow of the daffodils in yards and along the road.

I looked up and noticed that the blue sky was dotted with puffy white clouds ... I am such a cloud person.  Love them!  A hawk was floating on an updraft and slowly circling overhead.  And then I saw him.

He was a the most gorgeous white stallion and he was prancing through the pasture along a fence line.  His head and tail were up and his mane was flowing out behind him like a creature out of a fairytale. He was stunning and it was almost as if he knew how beautiful he was.   And I knew that he also knew that the world was waking up.  The color is back and spring has sprung.   He was just so full of joy that it was contagious and I basked in that brief moment ... a perfect moment on a perfect spring day.

These moments are the gifts that we receive only as often as we are open to them.  Be open, take in those moments, look around and see the joy.  It will change your perspective ... trust me.

Dancing in the Moonlight

I had insomnia last night.  I just hate when that happens.  Insomnia is something I've struggled with all of my life.  But, it really doesn't bother me as badly anymore ... not like it did when I was a child and it felt like the whole world was asleep and that I was all alone ... not like when I was a student or employed and knew that I had to get up the next morning and, not like when I was a young mother and every fiber of my being was screaming for rest and yet I couldn't sleep.  These days my reaction is more like 'oh bother.'   And then, last night was, to paraphrase Oprah, a sort of 'aha' moment.

I tossed and turned for an hour and then thought to get up and take a pain reliever for the dull headache that I was rapidly developing.  I sat up and looked toward my bedroom window.  I blinked and looked again because I couldn't figure out what the bright light was that was shining through the window and leaving patterns that looked like sunshine.  At first it was startling ... I mean, how could someone be behind my house in the country shining a light in my window?  I walked over, pulled back the window covering and realized it was the moon.  A huge, very bright, very full moon was lighting up my world.

Of course, I've seen full moons and, of course, they can be bright but, there were some added effects.  The moon was reflecting the dew on the lawns and fields in a way that almost made them look bright white.  I had to blink again because it looked like it had snowed.  I walked to my front door and opened it.  No snow ... the sidewalks were perfectly clear.  Then, I noticed that the moon was also reflecting off a fine, hazy mist hanging over the valley and the foothills east of us.  It was ethereal, it was a silvery wonderland and it was all mine.

I took in that vista, the magic of that moment as I breathed in the crisp night air.  I realized that but for my insomnia I would have missed it entirely.  Maybe I was meant to see it or maybe it was just coincidence but, it was a magical moment to me and it made me grateful for the time and the place.  Just another little growth spurt in this long journey called life ... a reminder to be fully present in the moment.