Debate Night

 Well, I watched it.  No words.  I'm embarrassed for our country that we have a bully in charge.  I'm done. I have to seriously question the integrity of anyone who can still support this man.  That's all I have to say about it.  VOTE HIM OUT

And Just Like That ...

 It is Fall!  How is it that time can seem to be dragging during this time of Covid and yet, all of a sudden a month has passed?  I often am not even sure what day it is as they all run together.  I hear the same thing from many of my friends (most of whom I don't get to see anymore).  I have had the same conversation repeatedly.  People are weary, they are anxiety ridden, they are fearful, overtaxed and overwhelmed.  And I am not going to lie ... I feel like if we don't get a new administration in November that we will be lost.  It is hard, it is scary and it seems to be never ending.  

I had this feeling in the very beginning of the Covid shutdowns that we would likely lose a year before anything approaching normal life could resume.  I still think that.  Tragically, we have lost so many lives and we still know so little about how to finally overcome this situation, that I believe that we won't ever go back to how it was.  Some of that is okay with me.  People were far too cavalier about going out to work and school, etc. while sick.  There was an attitude that we could cure whatever ailed us.  We've had a very sad wake up call.  I hope that we will finally understand (or at least most of us will) that our rights end where someone else's begin.  We don't have that right to endanger others.  I hope that we learn to appreciate the little things ... that the time spent in isolation with family will renew some values that may have been lost in that dizzy, hurry-up life style of the past.  I hope that we are less entitled and more humble.  I hope that we realize that we had the ability all along to do better had we united in our efforts.  Most other countries did so much better.  Its a hard lesson ... much harder on some than on others.  We are nowhere through it yet and we still don't have a consolidated effort.  It's heartbreaking.  What I do know for sure is that denial will never be an answer and we still have too much of that.  It is a sad time globally and particularly in the US.  I'm hoping we all make it.

So, I think that the next time we blink it will be time for the holidays and then we will go into a new year.  Maybe at this time next year we will be looking at the end of a very dark time.  I hope I'll see all my loved ones on the other side.  

Strange Days

 I can't even pretend to relate to the times that we currently find ourselves in.  Everyone  (and by everyone I'm pretty sure its the global community)  is having to reorient themselves in the face of the Covid 19 pandemic.  We, in the United States, are not doing well.  The why's and wherefores have been examined ad nauseam by all kinds of professionals by now and I am not one of those.  I'm only going to express my thoughts and feelings regarding all of this.

As the alarm bells started sounding in the US, I had only been back from a trip to Italy for a couple of months.  I literally left Venice on the day of the flood in November.  So, when I saw what was happening in Italy, my heart broke.  While I thought that the same thing could happen here, I also thought - well surely not.  We are the US.  We've got this.  As it turned out, we didn't.  Now we are months in and there have been way too many deaths and there is not really an end in sight. 

So, I ping pong back and forth between being depressed, heartsick and lonely to grabbing at the tiny silver linings in an attempt to stay level.  I'm fortunate in that I am retired.  I am fortunate that although I don't get to see them much,  I do get to see my family some.  We are ultra careful.  We space things out.  We don't do one large gathering.  But, they can work from home and their littles are too young to be very adversely effected by the school situation.  I also sparingly see my 92 year old mother.  We are being so very careful of her but, she's hanging in there.  I know that it could be so much worse but, I worry that it still might be ... that someone in my family will get sick, that the entire bottom will fall out of the economy causing my kids to lose jobs, etc.  We are so far from over any of this.  

In an effort to maintain some normalcy, I do the little things as usual.  There are chores, there are tasty things to grow or find at the local farm stand.  There are morning walks and phone chats with friends over coffee.  Sometimes just sitting on the patio with a glass of wine is about as exciting as it gets and yet it is a reminder to be grateful that I have a patio .... and wine.  There are great books, some pretty good television and my own creative pursuits of choice.   I have really had to curtail my news intake.  I am remaining informed, I check once a day for the basics but then, I have to turn it off.  I had to bail out of some social media as I found it angst provoking.  Life is a little calmer without it.  And .... life .... it goes on.

At the end of the day, we all have to do the things that help us cope with this tough, tough situation.  We all long for it to be done.  But, maybe the silver lining is that we are being given an opportunity to figure out what is really important in our individual lives.  I recently heard a quote by Michelle Norris ...

                     DON'T REACH FOR NORMAL.  REACH FOR BETTER

Jumping Back on the Horse

Wow!  No words really.  Here it is 2020 and I have not blogged since 2017.  I never did this for any reason other than to get my thoughts out.  Then, my marriage died, my life did a 180 and I had a lot of changes ... too many changes.  Finally, my laptop gave up the ghost.  That is the reason, in a nutshell, that I didn't blog.  So, here I am with a new laptop and at a decidedly different place in my life and feeling ready to write again.  I'll probably start slow to reintroduce myself to this practice, mainly because I confess to being all but tech illiterate.  I'm going to try to learn how to do this all over again and, I envision that my wonderful kids will be my tech support.

A WHOLE LOT has happened since my last post in September of 2017, both personally and on a worldwide scale.  You would have to be living in a monastery on a mountaintop in seclusion to not know what these many issues are ... and they are tough issues.  I'm not going to reinvent the wheel as to what people know or don't know. I will probably just go down the path of what and how things are affecting me.  My thoughts are either going to look familiar to some or diametrically opposed to others.  It is just going to be my truth.

Anyways ...... I'm back .... I guess.  

September

It is September 11,  2017.  I'm fairly certain that any adult in the country knows the significance of that date.  We will never forget.  What is the legacy of that date?  Well, I'm not really sure.

We exist in a country that has seemingly turned in on itself rather than standing united.  Its sad really but,  I blame politics in general and our current President specifically for the 'divide and conquer' mentality that is prevailing at the moment.

So, this September we are looking at major devastation in our country as a result of hurricanes Harvey, in Texas, and Irma through the islands and into Florida.  Adding to that, major fires are burning in Montana, California and here in Oregon.  I do not believe that our government can handle all of these in their entireties.  We, as a nation, have got to come together and help each other help ourselves.  The current government has done very little to build any kind of confidence that these things are in good hands.  However, people at state and local levels have shown otherwise.  People are showing up and helping.  As Mr. Rogers used to say, 'Look for the helpers.'  One doesn't need to look far to find them.  They are showing up to fight fire, to help people to safety after the hurricanes and to volunteer to clean up and/or donate to the cause.  This is who we really are in America.  We are not our government and we are certainly not represented by this President.  We are a people, by and large, who help each other stand up after a fall.  This was proven on September 11, 2001 and it is still true today.

I used to love September.  It was back to school time, the air got crisper and Fall was around the corner.  Lately, September has been cruel ... particularly this year.  I hope we don't see another one like this one in a very long time.  I also hope that all of this will help us pull together and see the things that really matter and really unite us in this country.  I, for one, would like to approach Thanksgiving and Christmas with far less political vitriol and far more brotherhood this year.

Blogging Pains

Sooooo,

I woke up this morning with a thought to composing a blog post on one topic but, due to the inability to initially access my blog and the ensuing cluster of finally making that happen, the original thought went out the window.

I was really frustrated with the inability to access my blog and as I sought to navigate the 'HELP' section, I found that I was not the only one.  Here's a thought ... I would think that since most bloggers are writers and not tech people, that it would be more helpful not to talk about myriad issues of caches, cookies, etc. and just simply realize that people are running up against your new blogger page who have existing blogs.  Figure out how to let them access their own material without jumping through mind numbing hoops.  Since I don't write my blog for money nor do I have tons of followers, this is simply an exercise in venting.  But seriously, why does EVERY.SINGLE.LITTLE.THING have to become so infuriating when dealing with technology?

And don't even get me started on the topic of it taking two weeks to get cable only to have my t.v. fritz out a week later.  AAAARRRRGGGGG!

So I Live in Texas Now

Well, I'm here.  I've actually been here, in Texas, almost two months ... one third of the time I'm committed to being here.  And well, I don't really know too much more about this state than I did the day I first arrived.  The reason for that is that taking care of someone who is recovering from surgery and a toddler has consumed most of the time.  And then, I collapse, sleep and reboot to do it again for another week.

I do have a space of my own now.  Its a nice little apartment with a surprisingly great view and I cherish my time just being here and breathing ... or sleeping.  Its not home though.  I don't have very many of my familiar belongings and I purposely departed a bit from my preferred decor style ... just because I could and six months isn't long to live with something.

I have discovered, on my rare wanderings, that this little town of Waxahachie, Texas has a hidden treasure.  While this town has been booming and bursting at its seams with growth, sprawl, strip malls and traffic, the heart of the town is still here.  The old and impressively large courthouse still stands on the square and is surrounded by all of the little brick and gingerbread store fronts.  And, best of all, it is coming back to life with a restoration project.  There are great little shops full of everything from clothing to antiques.  There is a yoga studio, a coffee shop, a bakery and the county art center.  Coming soon is an old fashion soda shop.  I peeked through the window and it is just the cutest most authentic looking place.  I can't wait to check it out.  This little bit of history surely will be my salvation (along with my way too cute grandson).

But, there are some things I simply hate about Texas ... the weather and the bugs (and the traffic is pretty atrocious too).  I miss the seasons.  It has been consistently in the 80's or 90's for so long that I've forgotten what a real Fall day feels like.  So much for scarves, boots and sweaters.  When it finally rains here, it is not your gentle cleansing rain ... noooo.  It is rain of epic proportions accompanied by thunder and lightening and all to frequent tornado watches.  I'm over the heat and I'm definitely over the excitement of a good storm.  Nothing snaps you out of that stance like an announcement over your phone or the television that you are to 'shelter in place.'   And then, there are the bugs.  Ugh!  They are big, they are nasty and they are everywhere.  A good hard freeze would be welcome to send those demons right back to hell.  That leaves traffic ... growth that is too fast, people pouring into the area and an infrastructure that can't keep up.  People either drive way too fast for the conditions ... or way too slow because its confusing (this crazy freeway under construction thing).  Anyway, its a little intimidating for this 65 year old, small town Oregonian.  But then again, what isn't?

So, here I am ... having this 'adventure' and the thing I am learning the most is what I don't want.  I don't want to live here forever (no aspersion to the State of Texas) but, in my book, Oregon is a hard act to follow ... for its beauty and for its moderate weather and for not having terribly scary bugs.  Still, its been worth it so far just to be able to bond with and spoil my grandson and watch him grow and thrive.  I wouldn't have missed that part for anything.